i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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