I didn't shave. On purpose
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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