Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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