Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
