the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
