I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
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You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have tasted many bathrooms
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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