apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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