She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
