still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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