my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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