Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
