We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
