my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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