Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
