Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
