you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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