I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Still dying that you shit outside
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
