If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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