So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
