OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
