I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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