the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
