we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
