Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
