She's JV to your varsity
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
