I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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