I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
