so explain again why im purple
no
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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