woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
