I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
