real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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