they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
