What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
