8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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