She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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