you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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