last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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