We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if only i could text you this smell
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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