Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
