dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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