Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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