dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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