She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
