a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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