We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ttyl tear gas
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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