Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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