lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ketchup is God's man juice
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
