please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
