dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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