My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize