I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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