You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he thought i was a dude.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
