Do you still have your period?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
