You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
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Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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