it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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