I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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