also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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