I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
