My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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