his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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