Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
only if we run a train.
done.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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